I've mentioned before that people say rude things to pregnant people. This isn't a news flash. It's pretty common knowledge that people put their nose where they shouldn't in life in general and feel especially free to do so when you're carrying around a baby bump.

I have been able to tolerate a lot-the cute old ladies, the well-meaning extended family members, the complete and total strangers.

The one comment that I cannot tolerate is the one about how long I've been married. Bryant and I have been married for 7 years. Apparently, this is far too long to wait to procreate, and people seem to feel very free to comment on that. My number one issue with that is that I have many friends who have had terrible trouble conceiving. Let me be clear, this is not a struggle that Bryant and I faced. I feel incredibly blessed by that every day. I've seen the heartbreak and heard the stories from many many friends. What if we had had trouble? What if we had been trying for 7 years? Every single time someone comments on the unthinkable amout of time we spent without child, I think of those friends. I think of how it must cut to the absolute bone if you've experienced infertility, and I find it offensive.

The rest of my reasons are as follows.

 I was 21 years old when I got married. 21!!!! I know very few people who are ready to have a child at that age. I certainly wasn't. I'm not even sure I was ready to get married at that age, but I did and it worked out. We are blessed. 

 I got married before I finished college. I still had one semester to go. Why would I have wanted to be pregnant for that?

 Bryant and I have accomplished a lot in the last 7 years. We built our relationship-which I believe is crucial for creating a healthy and happy family. A child needs the security of that, and I can assure you that if we had had a child early in our relationship, we wouldn't have had time to grow into our relationship. We bought a house. I got a master's degree. He started  more than one business. He has grown his art business. I've had no fewer than 5 different jobs. I've learned to be a teacher, and to love children that are not my own.

We've both learned to love in a bigger way than we ever would have had the capacity to 7 years ago. So to everyone who believes we've waited too long, please think twice before commenting to me or any other pregnant ladies on the length of time they waited before having children. You don't know their story. You don't know their struggle. You don't know their accomplishments. Be proud and excited for them. They've probably been trying their hardest to build a nice life for their future children. 

written by: Kate